A Relationship Reconciliation

From our family, friends, relatives, colleagues and in all our social circle we are connected with each other through a relation. There are people we may talk very little to them. There are people like at our work place we may not talk much other than work. Our relatives we usually talk occasionally. But with our very first family members, spouse, parents and siblings we talk every day. In our day-to-day life, we have a lot of conversation with different people around us. Sometimes we may disagree with each other in an argument. Which may hurt feelings of one are both persons and it may lead to a fight and break up of relation or friendship. We are not discussing here about the reasons that may cause heat of the moment and how we can avoid such situations. Here we are discussing what we should do if someone has said something wrong to us how we can avoid the fight, if the fight occurred then how we may reconcile.

              In my opinion, if the other person was the reason to start fight still, we are equally responsible for reconciliation. Disagreement and fights are unavoidable in every relationship no matter how deep your relationship is and how much we love each other. What matters most that how early we reconcile and come back to normal in routine. In my surroundings, mostly I have observed that people after fight when it comes to reconciliation they want to sit down, talk about the causes of fight and which argument brought the heat in conversation which led to tension. Most of the time no matter who offended first at the end both parties have contributed equally. Then for reconciliation all offended phrases are used again to bring the relation to normal which caused the fight thinking that we should discuss every problem we had with each other and we should give our relation a new beginning. For matter of the fact, fight never ends completely. Both parties sit down and blame each other how and when a person disrespected and cause a hurt to another person. After all grudges are spilt out from both sides it is decided that now we both will forget whatever happed in past between us and will start again. Well, noted that what hurt from both sides will not be repeated again. Both hugged, smiled and came back to normal. But it never ends, it keeps happening again and again.

            In reality, what happens after such meeting, after sometimes when they are alone, in absence of other person a scorecard of that ring is opened. No one wants to accept defeat; everyone wants to we no matter what. Suppose, one among two parties its me. I am sitting down alone doing nothing. Now my mind has to do something all the time. So, my mind recalls that reconciliation episode. I do remember what she/he said and what did I reply. Then I start counting while in process of reconciliation how many occasions he/she reminded me when I was wrong and I admitted. Then How many her/his statements I recalled there when I got hurt. Oh my God, her/his score was 8 and mine was just 5. I forgot to recall that bad memory when she/he taunted me on this, that was also another time when I was disturbed. Now I can recall all what I forgot to mention that day. I could have scored like 15. I could have one. Now, I am waiting for another, another fight. Maybe I can start fight myself so I can settle the score. These fights then become part of normal routine of life. We get use to live with all this. We fail to give all love and receive too. Our energies are drained in process of winning in arguments.

              So, what is the right and sustainable way of reconciliation? In my opinion, it is “LETTING IT GO”. You may call it forgetting immediately what has hurt you. We do not need to reconcile and discuss what has caused stress in a relationship. It is completely fine to get in an argument, it is also fine to get into fight but it should be just for that moment then forget it. Don’t call for a need to talk about what has happened and we should resolve this issue. Resolving such issues bring out more issues in light which had already been buried long time ago. Just get back to normal, be in love immediately and go through it. If you let those things go and just remember the love other person is giving you and yourself you are adding your part in it. There is no way it will happen again. The time will come, there will be only love. It is so simple. . .